You can feel it, sense it coming, there’s nothing you can do..oh my, have I created this through my thoughts? How can I stop this?
OK, ok…so I’ve been thinking this one particular thought for over three years. Yep, 3 years. It has always been incased in anger with a lack of self respect.
I took this part time job as a favor. Little did I know at the time it would engulf my life. I allowed it to become a time and a half job and I gave up my dream to be the best jewelry designer on the planet.
After the first 18 months I began saying “I just need a break”. “This is too much”, etc. I said those words on a daily basis to everyone that asked me how my job was. Within 4 months I was in a head-on car accident. Walked away with a shattered wrist. Got that break I needed. Did I put 2 and 2 together? Nope, I brought a friend on to help do the job until I recovered. They quit after six months. We are no longer friends. The job was just too demanding. They thought I was crazy.
I continued on for another two years yearning at times for the simple life of creating and traveling. The money was too good to let go of. The more I made the more I spent. I got a new car and paid it off in 2 years. I took a larger apartment, bought more beads for when I had time to design jewelry…all while saying “I hate this job and I’m going to quit.”
Well, this week I was trying to justify why I haven’t quit by saying “I’m not a quitter”. In reality I gave up all respect for myself, the company and my co-workers about a year ago but kept keeping-on, just for the money.
For the past few months the writing has been on the wall in bright bold letters. Jobs were being cut. I was in denial. My departments budget went from 2 million to 300k. Some people will have to go. “Not me…I helped start this department”. I’ll make it easy on them and only work 3 days a week, and on and on and on…
Tuesday I received the dreaded phone call. “Your services are no long required. Thanks for all you’ve done, this is not about you, we love you.”
I was totally surprised at my reaction. I was OK with it, remember…I was asking for it for 3 years.
I’m back in the jewelry business and I set up for a show today that will run through the weekend. I applied to this show in September 2017. Something told me I needed to do this show.
Sometimes the lesson takes a long time to get.
Thanks to the Master Keys I am feeling hopeful for my future. This journey, going forward, is about me and my DMP. As I look at my movie poster I am excited to finally get back on my path.
“I promise to stay focused on my dreams!”
“Thoughts Become Things… Choose The Good Ones!”
― Mike Dooley
I always keep my promises!